Some fun encounters

In no particular order...

1) Customs, as I'm leaving the airport: (in English)
Angry guard: Where?
Me: Where what?
Guard: Where coming from?
Me: America.
Guard: Ticket!
Me, confused because I'm leaving the airport not trying to board a plane: Boarding pass?
Guard: Ticket!
I had him my boarding pass, which is from my connecting flight through Tallin.
Guard, starting to get angrier: From Tallin, not America.
Me: I travelled through Tallin. I actually travelled through Dublin too, here's that boarding pass. And I can find...
Interrupting Guard: You said America!
Me: Ok fine I came from Tallin.
Guard: Proceed.


2) Directions (in Russian)
Russian Woman: Excuse me, where's the metro?
Me: Smolenskaya? (the metro closest to where we were)
Her: Lyuboye.
Me: Oh I'm sorry I don't know where that is.

Frances continues wandering, leaves woman standing confused. Shortly realizes Lyuboye means any. Any metro. Nice work.

3) Macdonalds
Me: Ya khochoo molochni koktail (I want a milk shake).
Cashier: Kakoy (what kind)?
Me: Crap I forgot how to say strawberry.
Me: Krasnaya frukta (red fruit)
Her: Krasnaya frukta?
Me: Ya zabila kak skazat pa rooskiy. Eta krasnaya frukta. (I forgot how to say it in russian, it's a red fruit).
Her: Kloobnika? (strawberry?)
Me: DA!

4) Pushkinskaya Square, mid-way through a conversation with a girl that sat down next to me (in russian).
Girl: Are you sad?
Me: Sad? No I'm just tired. Are you sad?
Girl: No. I'm just drunk.

She then invited me to see Transformers with her, which i politely declined. She seemed bummed--not that I wasn't going to join her, but because I said I'd heard it wasn't very good. It's her favorite movie of course, and this was the third time she was going to see it. That's right, third.

5) Visa registration office (in english):
Me: I'd like to register my visa.
Woman: You don't need to register it, it's very expensive.
Me: I know, but won't that look strange if I leave the country after three weeks and never registered?
Her: Just don't get stopped by the police.

Important background: you're supposed to register your visa if you're in a city for more than three days. Since I'll be on the train for most of the trip and not really in any one city for more than three days I wanted to at least have the Moscow registration. It wouldn't be valid in other cities but would be helpful if stopped by the police. For those of you not familiar with Russia, this happens a lot. They hang out by the metro and in the squares randomly asking people for their papers as proof of legality. Not a big deal, but you usually have to pay them some money to avoid a huge waste of time or if you aren't there legally. Only happened to me once when I was here before, I tend to not get asked when I've got my glare down right.

And many, many more.